Letting Nature Take Its Course

I love summer!  It's such a beautiful time of year, and I appreciate it even more because I love to garden and be out in nature. The flowers are blooming. The trees are budding. Critters are frolicking. It's enough to make me smile every day, even when there's rain. Plus, there's the naked pictures.

Heh heh heh. Knew THAT would get your attention.

Yes, I said naked pictures, although they're not really what I would call nudes. Maybe semi- or sort of- nudes. It doesn't matter. What matters is, like any good gardener, I planted a seed, quite by accident, and it's grown beyond what I'd ever imagined it could.

My work typically involves my taking on huge projects that take enormous amounts of time, which requires that my attention is divided between my personal and professional life sometimes in a disproportionate way. That means sometimes I feel bad that my DH is left alone while I'm off working all the time.

So, I recently came up with an idea to make sure that while I am gone he didn't think I'd ever forget about him. I collected a bunch of pictures of myself and got ready to put them on his computer so that he would see a pic of me nonstop on his desktop's background, when I remembered I had a few racy pictures from a vacation we'd taken three or four years ago. I got to thinking about it and decided why not just use those? Then he'd either get a huge laugh or enjoy them.

Now, these pictures are really not what I would call racy (says the self-proclaimed nudist). We took them on a lark while being silly, and they amount to me in a nightie lying on a bed and attempting to look seductive. Yes, in one you can see my dimpled bum and in another you can see what's left of my woman's floof just a little bit if you're really squinting and there's bright sunlight, but otherwise they're more funny than sexy. Or at least I thought so.

The day after I loaded these "provocative" shots on his computer, my DH and I shared a good laugh. He loved the idea that I'd put them on there just to remind him of me. But then a funny thing happened after that: his amorous side reared its sexy head three times more that week than normal. I thought it was the sunshine--he's kind of light sensitive and if he doesn't get enough sun he gets blue--or something like that, but it wasn't. It was those pictures.

Being the naturally suspicious wife that I am, I asked him why he reacted to images of his old lady attempting to, after all these years, be a lust goddess. Was it just the guy thing where any naked lady would inspire a reaction? You know what he said? It excited him that I would take the time to put pictures of me on his computer to remind him that I missed him, and that he loved that I tried to be sexy for him because he thinks I am sexy. That was, amidst the rigors of everyday life out in the world of work, one of the most sweet and loving things I'd heard. Feel free to say "Awwww" at this point if you want to. I know I did.

Now, I'm not suggesting you pose naked and post the pictures on FB or Twitter so your friends won't forget you, or for that random guy of MySpace who seems interested in you. These pictures were taken between a man and woman who had been married several years and were sober. Also, they weren't Miley Cyrus sexual. They were more, I'd say, Mona Lisa kind of hot, and clothing was involved more than exposed flesh. So don't think a naked picture of your precious girl parts is just the best perfect birthday gift for that guy you've known a month.

No, the moral of this story is that it truly is the thought that counts. It's not about the bod, which ages exponentially, or the showing of it, which anyone can do. The turn-on here was totally mental and created by a thought, a sentiment, a desire to communicate with a loved one. That's sexy. That's a relationship. And I am one lucky chick!

So now I'm off to garden, to plant a seed of a different kind while I have the chance. My schedule is about to get more hectic because DH is making a special request for more pictures, and I have to  figure out how to top this last batch without going overboard. Any ideas? They'd be appreciated a lot.

Happy Reading!

Zombies, Nudists, and Antarctica

I’m not obsessed with zombies. Really. I’m obsessed with the idea that in one strange moment I could go from being in a snit about the weather to terrified that I can’t get out of the house because the yard is filled with the undead.

Yes, I watch too much TV.

But you have to admit that it’s fascinating to think about what would happen if cyborgs invaded your favorite restaurant mid-entrée or if aliens took over your favorite work-out place while you’re sweating on the treadmill. I think of this often, which is why I never miss a chance to tell my DH or any family member that I love him/her, just in case the zombies come and I’m stuck in traffic trying to get back from lunch and never see them again because the vampire hordes took over.

My latest concern about the zombie/cyborg/alien/whatever-else-will-keep-me-awake-at-night apocalypse stems from my nudist tendencies. I don’t like clothes. Never have and never will. So, consequently, I go without them whenever possible. I sleep naked whenever possible, which thrills my DH to no end, but doesn’t bode well for sudden emergencies such as fires, tornadoes, invading stampedes of possessed toy dolls, etc. Yes, I keep my skivvies by the bedside, but when the wave of the flesh-munchers invades, will I be able to get dressed in time to make a run for it? What if I can’t? How long can I survive without clothing in a world where I must face the creepiest of creepies mano y mano or risk a no-win tussle with the elements?

I think of these things and just when I convince myself that, yes, even with my naked ways I could probably figure out a way to survive the onslaught of zombies, I get on Yahoo and all my best mental pep talks are ruined.

For example, the other day I found an article about a hypothetical situation in which a virus caused a zombie apocalypse. The article asserted that movies portray the spread of the disease illogically, because although a virus would spread rampantly through a city with millions of people, it would slow down as the population grew sparser. And the population grows sparser when it moves toward cooler climates. The article touted Glacier State Park as a really good location to avoid the worst of the zombie invasion.

Really?

Do you know how cold glaciers are? It’s not like you can wear tank tops and sundresses and hang out on a glacier. Therefore, my interpretation of this is that…

I’m screwed.

If I continue in my anti-clothing ways, I’m never going to make it to the non-zombie camp in Antarctica or even to the slightly colder regions of the US (Heaven knows my region is cold enough). In other words, if I want to live past the first wave of those-who-want-to-chew-my-bones, I need to have clothing at the ready at all points in time. That, I feel, puts a definite cramp in my style, given “clothing at the ready” for me means possibly a T-shirt by my bedside.

I suppose I shouldn’t worry about it, but I do. However, I turn it into something positive. I think about what a great story it would make: a nudist colony fighting an attack by zombies on the hunt for human flesh. Who would win? How hard would the nudists fight for their right to stay naked no matter what?

I know I’d fight pretty hard, but that’s just me. And that’s enough of this post for right now. I’m off to work on my next story, which is about—you guessed it—a nudist colony. Can’t wait to finish the fifth chapter. Will post an excerpt soon.

Happy Reading!