I haven’t been online/on social media/etc. much in a couple of weeks now. My 83 year old father was rushed to the hospital in Florida and my mom was getting confused and overwhelmed. So two weeks ago, hubby and I threw some clothes in my car and started the twenty-one hour drive from western New York to south central Florida.
It’s been tough seeing my strong dad weak from weight loss due to a trouble swallowing we didn’t realize he had. He’d been hit with several bouts of pneumonia over the past few months which we discovered was being caused from aspirating food into his lungs. I won’t go into all the details, but since we arrived, he’s been in two different hospitals, a skilled nursing facility and back to the hospital for more surgery. He’s confused and angry and doesn’t want to hear that we can’t bring him home right now.
It’s tough on my mom too. Even with us here for support and to talk to the doctors and nurses and to drive her the hour each way, every day. I never realized how exhausting it is to simply sit and wait and worry. Hubby and I have no idea how long we’ll have to be here. We’re lucky we have adult children who can take care of our house and collect the mail and pay bills. I haven’t been getting much writing done, but I know it will be here when I can get back to it.
We’re staying with my mom in their small park model trailer, sleeping on a sofa bed. She doesn’t have wifi, so I have to go over to the clubhouse in their community if I want to get online to do things like upload a blog post. I love my mom, but I think two weeks living in someone else’s house is about the limit. Still, we know we have to stay here at least until my dad gets discharged from the hospital and settled into the nursing facility (luckily only about 15 minutes away from my parents’ place.)
It’s not easy for me to live day to day. I want to be making plans for the next day, next week, next month. But I can’t right now. I think it’s a lesson to me to live in the moment. To appreciate this time I have with my elderly parents. To be glad we were free to make the trip and be here to help my mom. To not worry about tomorrow. But man, it’s hard.
Reading this over now, I know it sounds like it’s all about me and that’s not the case. It’s about my dad healing and accepting that he has a ways to go before he can come home. It’s about my mom not being overwhelmed and being strong enough to take care of him when he comes back home. It’s about my being here to do whatever I can to make that easier for both of them.
But man, it’s been a long two weeks.
Natasha
The Cottage Next Door
Bound to Submit
Bound to Surrender – coming soon
www.natashamoore.com
5 comments:
A lot of us have been through this. No, it's not about you...except when it is.
Your mom is lucky to have a caring child willing to drop everything and help out. I'm sure she knows this.
Make some time to go out with your husband--just the two of you. I stayed with my parents for a few months and that dinner out on our anniversary felt like we'd escaped!
Constant worry and waiting can wear on you. To be there for your mom, you need to take care of yourself.
Thanks Ash. I think lack of "alone time" with hubby is one of the hardest things.
I understand how you feel. I've been through things like this and it's always very hard. I think you're right about living in the moment and appreciating the good things. I hope your dad gets well soon.
Thanks Vonda :)
*Huge Hugs* Went there with my dad for 4 months, then my mom for the last 7 years. Hard as it is, you'll be glad you did it.
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