Flirt Into Spring

I like to flirt, but if you asked the women of my acquaintance if I’m a flirt they would probably tell you I’m not. When most people think of a flirtatious woman, they picture someone batting her eyelashes, twisting a lock of hair around her finger, or running her tongue along her lips. I have to admit, I use these actions when I’m writing about a flirtatious character. Ah, but the art of flirtation is so much more subtle than those gestures.

To me, true flirtation is all about the conversation. And that’s why I’m a flirt! I love to talk. Not only do I love to talk, but I enjoy talking about “guy” subjects like politics and sports. When I go to the Little League baseball field to drop off or pick up my son for practice, I usually run into a few dads there and we talk…about Little League baseball. I know the kids, the teams, the plays, the coaches. The dads love talking to me about this stuff. And now I’m keeping the scorebook for my son’s team, so that gives me even more opportunity to flirt…uh talk. How do I know this is flirting and not just conversation? Umm – these are men and I just know.

And what’s so great about it all, is that it’s harmless and fun. I’m married, they’re married, I’m good friends with their wives – whom I also chat with but in a very different way. It’s not the kind of flirtation anyone would ever dream of acting upon and there are no double entendre or sexual overtones to the conversation. It’s refreshing and I like the idea that a man other than my husband might find me an interesting person.

And I know my husband does the same thing. My husband likes to talk too, and I know he practices this subtle art of flirtation with his co-worker (the lone female cop on his task force), the woman who owns the coffee place he frequents, a few of the moms. I think it makes him feel good too. We flirt with each other all the time (of course, we add in the sexual banter), and we know how to push each other’s buttons-literally and every other way!

Of course, married flirtations are different from unmarried flirtations (or they SHOULD be!). I think the unmarried flirtations are more intense. There's more riding on the banter than just a pleasurable experience. But it still should start with the conversation. It doesn't have to be super witty stuff, but it should be interesting. Your opening line in a flirtation should pique the other person's curiosity about you and make him want to learn more about what makes you tick. When you think of something "flirty" whether it's a drink or a dress, you usually think of something light and bubbly. Flirting should be fun, not a chore.

So if you’re not flirting, you’re missing out on one of life’s little pleasures. And if you need tips to get started, there's an entire website devoted to flirting: (of course).


Keira of LoveRomancePassion said...

Love the title of this post! Yay flirting!

Donna Marie Rogers said...

LOL...I used to be quite the flirt, back when I was thinner and younger. *G* I was known as a flirt (harmless, of course). But my husband and I don't really have that type of relationship...I should try it. ;-)

Great blog, Carol!

Carol Ericson said...

Keira, I just like the word "flirt." In fact, the tagline for my Intrigues is: Where Romance Flirts With Danger...

Donna, ahhh, flirting knows no numbers on a scale or years! I'm not exactly flirting with 20-somethings or even 30-somethings. I think the "older" flirtations are even more fun. Everyone kind of knows what they're doing. I even have one of my son's friend's grandfathers on my flirt list (OK, really, he's not that much older than I am).

Nicole North said...

Fun post, Carol! I do flirt with my husband. And love writing about it in my stories. I love a playful, charming hero who smiles and winks a lot. Sexy banter is the best!

Chiron said...

I love flirting! But as the years have gone by (and so many of them married!!), I now realize that the definition of flirting has expanded for me. It's less about the 'come hither' and more of a light-hearted banter that brings out the best in all people. Heck, I flirt with girlfriends, teasing them and complimenting them until we're all preening, laughing and pouring more wine. *laughs*

Flirting is all about engaging the other person in a playful manner, and yes, just as you said, it should 'pique curiosity'.

GREAT post, Carol!!

Chiron O'Keefe

Stacey Joy Netzel said...

Carol, I had no idea you were such a flirt! :) Just last night my hubby was showing me his Facebook account and man, I had no idea HE was such a flirt on line. LOL I teased him about it and he just laughed. I'm fine flirting with him, but very uncomfortable flirting with strangers. Not to say I'm not flattered if a guy flirts with me, but I'm such a dork at it that I usually just turn beet red.

Carol Ericson said...

Nicole, I agree that sexy banter is the best - has to be witty too.

Chiron - exactly what I was trying to convey in my post. The definition of flirting has expanded for me too - and I love that "flirting with girlfriends." I do that too - there are a bunch of us soccer moms who tease and banter all the time.

Stacey - your hubby's flirting online just keeps him in practice for you!

Natasha said... - who knew??? LOL

Carly Carson said...


I agree 100% with your post! I love to flirt, but in a subdued, non-sexual way (yeah, the guys always have a bit of sex in their minds, I'm not dumb). I enjoy it more now than when I was younger because it's safe. Both sides know it's just for fun.

I do flirt with strangers. I love it because men are SO easy. You smile, they'll say something. It just perks me up and I imagine they feel the same. (I'm talking about ordinary guys, not movie stars!) I mostly don't do it in front of hubby, however. He kind of loses his sense of humor, lol.

I have to go check out that site!


Carol Ericson said...

Natasha, did you check it out? It's kind of fun. I like the videos.

Carly, yeah the guys always do have sex on their minds - LOL. But if they know they're not going to get any, they can relax and enjoy the flirt!