I like to flirt, but if you asked the women of my acquaintance if I’m a flirt they would probably tell you I’m not. When most people think of a flirtatious woman, they picture someone batting her eyelashes, twisting a lock of hair around her finger, or running her tongue along her lips. I have to admit, I use these actions when I’m writing about a flirtatious character. Ah, but the art of flirtation is so much more subtle than those gestures.
To me, true flirtation is all about the conversation. And that’s why I’m a flirt! I love to talk. Not only do I love to talk, but I enjoy talking about “guy” subjects like politics and sports. When I go to the Little League baseball field to drop off or pick up my son for practice, I usually run into a few dads there and we talk…about Little League baseball. I know the kids, the teams, the plays, the coaches. The dads love talking to me about this stuff. And now I’m keeping the scorebook for my son’s team, so that gives me even more opportunity to flirt…uh talk. How do I know this is flirting and not just conversation? Umm – these are men and I just know.
And what’s so great about it all, is that it’s harmless and fun. I’m married, they’re married, I’m good friends with their wives – whom I also chat with but in a very different way. It’s not the kind of flirtation anyone would ever dream of acting upon and there are no double entendre or sexual overtones to the conversation. It’s refreshing and I like the idea that a man other than my husband might find me an interesting person.
And I know my husband does the same thing. My husband likes to talk too, and I know he practices this subtle art of flirtation with his co-worker (the lone female cop on his task force), the woman who owns the coffee place he frequents, a few of the moms. I think it makes him feel good too. We flirt with each other all the time (of course, we add in the sexual banter), and we know how to push each other’s buttons-literally and every other way!
Of course, married flirtations are different from unmarried flirtations (or they SHOULD be!). I think the unmarried flirtations are more intense. There's more riding on the banter than just a pleasurable experience. But it still should start with the conversation. It doesn't have to be super witty stuff, but it should be interesting. Your opening line in a flirtation should pique the other person's curiosity about you and make him want to learn more about what makes you tick. When you think of something "flirty" whether it's a drink or a dress, you usually think of something light and bubbly. Flirting should be fun, not a chore.
So if you’re not flirting, you’re missing out on one of life’s little pleasures. And if you need tips to get started, there's an entire website devoted to flirting: www.flirting.com (of course).