I like compliments, don't you? Actually, I love them. I love it when someone says something nice about me or something I've done. Now don't worry, I'm not fishing for a compliment (although if you have a spare one, you can send it my way), I'm just mentioning this because I paid a compliment to someone Monday and got a big smile in return. It was nice. Very, very nice.
What kind of compliments do you like? My favorites are listed below:
1. Those from my husband
2. Those from random strangers
3. Those that I give others
There's nothing better than my DH, unprompted, paying me a compliment. I say unprompted because I have a terrible habit of sort of forcing them out of him (by forcing I mean standing in his line of vision until he notices and says something nice about my outfit or my butt). So when he offers sweet words unbidden, well, that's extra special. The other day he made me feel super duper when he, out of the blue, said I had Michelle Obama arms. If you've not heard, Michelle Obama is supposed to have great upper arms. Very toned and no flab. I think her arms are lovely and even though I don't happen to agree with DH's assessment of my biceps, I mightily appreciate that he noticed they don't hang down to my waist. Yet. So if his misguided interpretation translates that into Michelle Obama arms, who am I to correct him?
I also like it when random strangers make a point to say something nice about me, especially when they don't seem to be trying to sell me something. I wore a special dress out the other night, and it was kind of a risky style for me. However, in the restaurant a waitress who was not even waiting on our table made a point to stop and tell me how much she liked it. It may be that we both have the same bad taste in dresses, but it still made me feel good.
As for giving compliments to others, that's how this whole post started. There's a knack to paying someone a compliment. You have to be sincere, and it can't be what we call a back-handed, or left-handed, compliment. A back-handed compliment is an expressed sentiment that is supposed to seem nice but is ultimately an insult in disguise. For example, if someone says to you,"Those pants look so good on you! Your butt doesn't look nearly as big as it usually does," that's a back-handed compliment. Another example is "That hairstyle is fabulous! It hides that big mole on your forehead." I would avoid those unless you really mean them (hey, we all have our despicable days, don't we? lol).
Now that I see the power of a kind word, I don't hesitate to dole out affirmations when the occasion arises. I used to have another terrible habit--have a lot of those, don't I?--and that was noticing something but never saying anything. I'd notice a friend's new haircut and how it enhanced her appearance, but I'd just never verbalize it. Funny for a person who plays with words for money, but I guess writing nice things is more natural than actually saying them.
I know I've posted on this topic before, but as we head into autumn, when the beauty of summer is transitioning into the bleakness of winter and the oncoming rush of the holidays, I thought a little compliment talk might brighten the dreary day here. I probably should have done a post on how to fish for compliments, as that's an art form I have down pat, but maybe next time.
Until then, what kind of compliments do you like to get? To give? To see given? Do share!