Feeling Sexy at 41?

Okay, let's face it, feeling sexy when you're in your 40s or 50s isn't easy. In fact, just feeling nice can sometimes be enough. Heck, getting out of bed without aches and pains is good. LOL

However, for the past several months I've been exercising and dieting. Actually, it's more like I've been trying to get healthier. Not necessarily lose pounds, but just take better care of myself. It was exciting to go shopping and buy jeans that were a size smaller. The best part about that trip was the fact that I felt confident about my body. That's not something I've felt in a really long time.

I don't think I'm alone when I say that we are more critical about our own bodies than anyone else. I can always find something wrong with me. Maybe it's a bad hair day, or I feel bloated, or my eyes look puffy. Guh! There's always something!

Anyway, about a week ago, my husband and I went to the high school football game--my daughter plays in the band. We were sitting in the stands, I was sort of leaning back, trying to get more comfortable (those bleachers are miserable!) and my husband leans close and says to me, 'you're looking damn sexy'. My heart sped up, my face heated and I think I sat there for several seconds just stunned. He said a few more things I won't repeat and it all had me wishing we were at home instead of in a crowd, lol!

I can't think the last time I've heard that word come from his mouth. Oh, I know he loves. I know he thinks I'm pretty. But men are NOT good at saying the words. They just assume we know. The thing is, we NEED to hear the words. It makes us feel feminine and pretty and cherished. It makes us feel less...taken for granted!

I admit for several days after that game I felt sexy. The feeling his words evoked took awhile to wear off. One little word. It's amazing to me how one little word cane make all the months of working out, eating veggies instead of ice-cream, drinking bottles of water instead of cola, can make me feel as if it's all been worth it!

Next month I turn 42. For months I've been dreading this birthday, I kid you not! Now? Heck, I'm only getting started!!! LOL
31 Responses
  1. Chris R Says:

    Too true. Although I think my dh does enjoy things more now that I am 44. I am a lot less nervous and I am pretty sure after 26 years that he isn't going to run away screaming if he sees my nake body. LOL

    Although my dh doesn't say it much sometimes he just gives me a look and I know.

  2. Meg Allison Says:

    I think it's mostly a matter of confidence. You feel good because you lost that one size. You probably feel good because you're taking better care of yourself... and it shows.

    I've always heard a confident woman is very sexy to men. Especially when he knows you won't turn him down, lol!

    And yes... you've only begun. ;)

  3. BrennaLyons Says:

    I just turned 41 last week, and my husband hasn't let up teasing me about it. Of course, I get to point out he's older than me...and a lot more gray. Grinning...

    Like you, I'm working on the diet and exercise route right now. I want to feel better about myself, be healthier...and definitely lose weight.

    But even at my current weight, I can dress up and look good for my man and for me.


  4. SharonJM Says:
    This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Regina Says:

    I'm glad for you and a birthday is just a number! I'm 54 and will be 55 in Dec. and my sons 27 and 32 still get irritated when their friends think I'm "hot" LOL My husband loves it and they used to until their friends started noticing it, too! ; )~

    I've always been lucky to have a healthy metabalism, but I do eat well and drink water and teas only as of the past four years, by choice. You're as young as you feel and when you feel sexy, it does show, you glow with it!

  6. RKCharron Says:

    Thanks for the great post Anne :)
    You have a wonderful husband!
    All the best,

  7. Terri Says:

    What a wonderful post!

    I turned 50 this year. It took me awhile, but I finally feel like I own my sexuality (if that makes sense?), like I'm a woman, not a girl, anymore. We've been married 28 years and the sex has never been better! LOL

  8. Sophia Danu Says:

    You go Anne! It's too bad so many women feel bad about themselves. I believe we are all beautiful in our own unique way and we only get better the older we get. Nice blog!!

  9. Anne Rainey Says:

    Chris--I'm not quite as shy to say what I want and (of course) he loves that! LOL And yes, I love that look! ;-)

    Meg--I'd forgotten until reading your comment that he DID say I seemed more confident. He just told me that recently. Funny, I guess that sort of thing really does show.

  10. Anne Rainey Says:

    Brenna--I married a younger man. LOL My dh is like 9 months younger, or something like that, so he loves to tease about being old and grey. LOL

    Regina--I have girls (14 and 16) and I'm pretty sure they do NOT want to hear their guy friends say their mom is hot. LOL That would totally freak them out. To them I'm just mom.

  11. Anne Rainey Says:

    RK--Thanks for stopping by! :)

    Terri--I feel that way too about our sex life. It's funny because you always hear about how it get less frequent. Not true for us! Maybe it's the romance books! hehe!

  12. Anne Rainey Says:

    Sophia--I know what you mean. One thing about raising girls is that I want them to feel good about who they are. Confident and happy to be an individual!

  13. Great post. Age is just a number, yeah well, I keep telling myself that. lol But I'm hanging onto 46 for dear life. Probably will stay there, uh here for a decade or so.

    It's amazing how those men in our lives can make us blush like schoolgirls and feel warm all over.

    And I feel sexy at 46 and when I turn 46 again on Monday, I'll still feel sexy. After all, my hubby said I was, so it must be true.

  14. Anne Rainey Says:

    Cassie said: It's amazing how those men in our lives can make us blush like schoolgirls and feel warm all over.

    Boy, ain't that the truth!!!

  15. Nicole North Says:

    Great post, Anne!! I happen to be 41 also. But 41 is the new 31. LOL I've always you're as young as you think you are. Your husband deserves a big hug and nice treat for being so sweet! ;) Which I'm sure you gave him! My husband is generous with the compliments too. He's the best!

  16. Natasha Says:

    Great post, Anne. I just turned 54 and I still blush like a schoolgirl at some of the things my DH says. And yes, I credit reading and writing romance novels for my husband saying that sex is better than ever :-)

  17. Anne Rainey Says:

    Nicole--Yep, he definitely got a treat. :p

    Natasha--Hmm, sorta makes me wonder if women who DON'T read romance novels are having as much fun as us...maybe they don't know what they're missing! :-D

  18. The "Sexy" feeling comes and goes, I think. Something that never goes? A woman's most attractive feature is what lies between her ears, and not elsewhere.

    And Anne, you've got a lot going on between your ears. :)


  19. Anne Rainey Says:

    Hi Jake--Thanks for the compliment! :) I DO feel that an intelligent conversation gives me more pleasure than anything else possibly can. In fact, last weekend the dh and I sat for hours discussing a new series I'm working on. It was so wonderful to hear his thoughts and jot down his ideas for the series. :)

  20. Carolina Says:

    How about feeling sexy at 87? My father got married again at age 85 and greatly enjoys an active sex life with his wife - sans Viagra. He said sex is mostly in the mind anyway ;-)

    Carolina Montagye

  21. Anne Rainey Says:

    sex is mostly in the mind anyway ;-)

    Ah! How true is that!!! How exciting for your dad, Carolina. I want to be that way when I'm his age!

  22. Nancy Lee Badger Says:

    Great and timely article as my next birthday is weeks away. It is hard to get old, but the look AND the words my husband gives me help. He actually used the word 'cherish'. Happy Birthday to all us sexy cougars!

  23. Anne Rainey Says:

    Nancy--Yes, us sexy cougars need to stick together!! And your husband sounds like a keeper for sure!!

  24. I'm 54 and have never feel sexier in my entire life. Now that my sons are all adults, I spend more time taking care of myself. I stay healthy and looking good through exercise and diet. I also feel more confident. And now that I'm not hampered with kid things, my husband appreciates the extra time I have for him.

    When I wore my skinny jeans, he couldn't keep his hands off me.

  25. Mary Ricksen Says:

    I want a husband like yours!

  26. My hubby is one of the wordy ones. In the close to fifteen years we've been married, I can honestly say he's always made me feel very beautiful and attractive, even those countless phases I didn't. I too struggle with weight issues, but he always knows the right answer to 'does this make me look...?'

    As per my own self-image, it ties too much into how my clothing fits. I've given up on the scale. Though 10-15 pounds under my worst scale-topper, through exercise--light weights and walking--I've recently found my way into slimmer pants that have been relegated to the back of the closet for at least 10 years. Do I feel sexy? Oh, yes I do!

    Thanks for a fun post,
    Joanna Aislinn
    The Wild Rose Press Jan 15, 2010

  27. Nice post, Anne. I'm on the other side of the fence, I'm afraid...the husband of 17 years who dumped me because a 20 year younger woman looked sexier to him. *sigh*

    My hat's off to your dh and others that stick by their women! :)

  28. Hi Anne,
    Great article, Your husband sounds like a real gem. And it is true saying that a woman is only as sexy as she feels.

  29. My dreaded B-Day was 30 (biological clock issues)...since then I've been fine. I'm 47 now and my problem isn't about age but about weight. All it would take for me to feel sexy is some nice guy to be interested.

  30. Anne Rainey Says:

    Susan--Oh, yes, I love my skinny jeans! *wicked grin*

    LOL, Mary!

    Joanna--Congrats on fitting into those jeans!!

  31. Anne Rainey Says:

    Terry--My uncle did this to my aunt. I used to WISH he would end up with Herpes or something. Grr!!!

    Margaret--Thanks. Well, our relationship isn't perfect. We do have our ups and downs. But we love and respect each other, and that's half the battle. :)

    {{{Connie}}}--I hope you do find that nice guy, because you deserve him! :)

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