Can You Take A Joke?

Because these are the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer and I couldn’t think of anything profound to write about this month, I give you these witty words of wisdom (written by other people)…

Books: Helping introverts avoid conversation since 1454

Bookmarks are for quitters!

Let’s eat Grandma. Let’s eat, Grandma. (Commas save lives)

The past, the present and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it will always be stationery.

iTired (There’s a nap for that.)

Always give 100% (Unless you’re donating blood.)

How to enjoy wine:  Step one – open the bottle to allow it to breathe. Step two – if it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth immediately.

Wine improves with age. I seem to improve with wine.

I thought getting old would take longer...

I intend to live forever. So far, so good!

Does running late count as exercise?

I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Never laugh at your wife’s choices. You’re one of them.

Until next month, think happy thoughts! (I'll be in my hammock...)


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