Is it National Bra Week or something? Did I not get a memo? I am, for some reason, noticing an inordinate about of bra straps showing in public. Everywhere I go, I see delicate underthings that would be better off left, well, under.
Now, I have nothing at all against bra straps. They are perfectly fine, and most importantly, they hold up bras, which in turn hold up bosoms. In my case, this is more or less a miracle of defying gravity and physics than one can imagine, so I’m completely okay with bra straps as a necessary evil sometimes. I'm used to occasionally getting a glimpse of someone's strap, as that happens all the time. If a little bit peeks out while your sleeveless polo isn’t looking, no problem. I do not, however, want to see entire bra straps, including the plastic strap adjusters, when I’m eating or standing in line or grocery shopping or doing anything, really. But I do. All the time.
I guess my issue is that women are buying tops with necklines and sleeves that just don’t cover the typical bra. Okay, fine. Get a bra that goes with that top or get one of those little devices that pulls the straps into a T or a V or whatever letter helps the little bugger conceal the bra straps. I know how it is to fall in love with a top that looks great but doesn’t go with any bra I own. I simply don’t buy it unless I know I’m going to buy a companion bra so the top won’t be lonely and my lingerie won’t be showing. Or I go—gasp!—braless, which emphasizes the aforementioned sagginess of my girls, but I do it anyway. Other women, though, just put the top on and let their bra straps—in one case, bright pink ones that could be seen on Mars—hang out. Some straps were made for this kind of exposure, but 98% of the ones I see are obviously of the indoor-only variety, though you’d never know it by the way they’re worn.
I know I sound like a fussy old bat, but I’m not really. I just think it looks like the lady wearing her straps out and about seems to think that for some reason wearing a bra that everyone can see is somehow more socially acceptable than wearing no bra at all. I’m a nudist, remember? And a hippy-ish type. I’m all for letting it all hang out and am always looking for excuses to go without the bosom wrangler, so committing a needless fashion faux pas in the name of some kind of modesty is beyond my comprehension.
I also think there’s a bigger issue here, one that women refuse to talk about. I shouldn’t, but I’m going to break the silence and state it here for the world to see:
Most women don’t like strapless bras.
Yes, that’s right. All this inadvertent strap voyeurism could be avoided if women would just wear strapless bras, but they don’t. Why? I’m assuming for the same reason I don’t want to wear one. They never seem to fit. I’ve yet to find a strapless bra that fits right for more than thirty minutes or one that the band doesn’t twist. It’s not like my breasts are double anythings, so breast tissue girth is not the reason. It is just, I believe, impossible to create a structurally sound strapless bra that a women can actually wear and move around in without it bending, folding, spindling, or mutilating itself.
What I like about my next story is that in the world I’ve created, there are no bras and none needed. A small detail, but one that makes me happy, nonetheless. No bras: no visible bra straps. It’s nirvana for both my female characters AND me, not to mention the hero.
So what about you? Where on you on the visible bra strap spectrum? Please do share!