It's been a hard winter. You want to know how I know that? Because I actually kept scoping what the groundhog said on 2/2, like that's an accurate weather prediction. However, desperate for spring, I bought into what the little rodent said. And it appears, although with some hesitation, spring is on its way.
But that's not what you came here for, is it? You came here for something exciting, and, finally, I have something exciting to talk about. Wanna hear?
So my friend, Helena, is getting married for the 3rd time, which is, I'm sure, a charm. Although, given Helena's track record, maybe not. Helena and Mike are getting married on 3/17, the luckiest day of the year according to their ancestors, who were all Irish. They are getting married at 3:17 on the dot, too. However, that's about it. I think Mike wanted to go all the way with the "We're so lucky to have found each other" theme, but Helena convinced him to not go overboard with it. It promises to be a nice wedding, and one that, I'm sure, will be quite memorable.
Why, might you ask?
Because Helena is friends with Ann, Ann's Jerk, and Amy, Ann's sister who is now married to Ed, Ann's ex-fiance who left her at the altar for his current wife, and because she's invited the whole crew to her nuptials, that's why. I asked Helena if she'd told Mike about Ann's wedding disaster and the aftermath, and she said she had. His response? "There's no bad luck they can bring on us! Look, they're all happy now." Helena's gleeful take on the whole thing? "This is going to be effing fantastic! Wanna take bets on who swings first?" That's my friend, always looking for entertainment wherever she can get it.
And she might get it. Amy and Ann do talk, even though Amy stole Ed from right under her bridal nose, but everyone knows Ann is incredibly vengeful and holds grudges forever, and even though she's happy working on her "relationship" with The Jerk, she still has a score to settle with Amy.
If you read the Bridesmaid Sort Of posts from a while back, you might be wondering what happened after Ann and The Jerk's embrace. Well, it was kind of like that scene in An Officer and a Gentleman where Richard Gere carries Deborah Winger out of the factory, except Ann's a bit heavier than Deb and The Jerk is waaaaay older than Richard Gere, so it looked like too stumbling drunks half carrying each other out of a crowded bar. In short, though, Ann decided to give The Jerk another try, even though he's technically married to a new wife. He and Ann are "dating" until he and the current legal Mrs. Jerk work though their conscious uncoupling. I swear on Gwyneth Paltrow's pink Oscar de la Renta dress that I'm not kidding...they are consciously uncoupling like she did with Chris Martin, or at least doing their version of it. What it amounts to is that The Jerk is getting steady, um, attention from both Ann and Mrs. Jerk, and he's never been happier. Ann thinks she's going to win back her ex-hubby from the trophy hussy who stole him, so she's thrilled--to get The Jerk back and to get revenge on Mrs. Jerk. And Mrs. Jerk thinks she's going to convince her errant spouse that he's just having a mid-life crisis and wants to sow some seeds, which is, ironically, what Ann told him when he confessed he'd been sleeping with his dental hygienist, who became Mrs. Jerk, for six months. She thinks he'll come running back to her younger arms and fuller breasts, but Ann is giving her a run for her money, or rather for The Jerk's money.
So there you have it. Helena and Mike's wedding is going to be center stage to Ann and Amy's showdown, while Ed and The Jerk stand around sipping bad wine and comparing sisters. Hopefully, Helena and Mike will take it all in stride, and, if we're lucky, everything will go off splendidly.
I hope your spring is shaping up to be as exciting as mine promises to be. Happy Reading!