English + French = Franglais

I’ll be travelling to Paris at the end of January for nine days. My husband is going for work, and I’m tagging along for pleasure.

I took seven years of French in high school and college, but that was a looong time ago. Suffice it to say, I don’t ‘parlez francais’ very well anymore, but I’m certainly not going to let that deter me from a trip to the beautiful City Of Lights. Even if it IS in the dead of winter. Heck, I’ll just bring a jaunty beret to keep my head warm…

So… I’ve been trying to study up on those basic-necessity French phrases, like: Do you have a hotel room available? Which way to the Louvre? Help, police! And the all-important: Where’s the nearest ladies room?

I would love to be truly bilingual. Actually, since I’m married to an Englishman, I do speak ‘Cockney rhyming slang’ fairly well, but I don’t think that’s considered an official language. Besides, ‘Take a butcher’s hook at this dog and bone’ certainly doesn’t have the melodious ring of ‘Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?’ to it. Hmm. Then again, maybe ‘Do you want to sleep with me tonight?’ is not the best phrase to practice. After all, I’ll be in Paris with my husband…

I’ve heard that the French (especially Parisians) look down their noses at Americans who try to speak their language. That’s not going to stop me, either. Heck, I defy THEM to master the English language with any ease! If I encounter a snooty Frenchman, I’ll just bring up this classic English language example:  “There. Their. They’re not the same.” and watch his head explode!  

I will try my best to speak French while I’m in Paris. Really, I will. But if francais + anglais = franglais who am I to fudge a little? Passport sounds just like passeport. Besides, if I really get into trouble, I’m good with my hands.


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