It's taken me almost a month to write 5k. I'm not surprised. Schools out, my out-of-the-house work schedule has been all over the map, and writing just isn't happening the way it should. But if I stretch my arm out real far and... wiggle my fingers, I can brush my fingertips against the end of this book. I'm that close.
This is the first book I've written from scratch under contract. To say that it's added a bit of stress to the writing process is an understatement. I've got new worries I haven't had before. My editor loved the first book in my MMA series. What if she hates this one? What if she regrets offering me that three book deal? What if this one sucks so bad, she says, "You know, let's not worry with the third one."
Yeah, the doubts are tenfold with this book. And the closer I'm getting to the end, those doubts are increasing. Tommy is so opposite of Dante, which is a good thing. You don't want your heroes to be the exact same. But Dante was so together. Tommy's is a redemption story. The whole rising from rock bottom to persevere sort of thing. I've enjoyed writing the story and watching Tommy grow and reclaim his life.
Here's the problem. I feel like I'm writing a "You're just a big, fat smart bug, aren't you?" ending. (Anyone get that reference? Starship Troopers? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?) If you do get it, you know what I mean. If you don't, it means a groaning, "Really?!?!" ending.
I think I'm over thinking it. I think the doubts are just getting to me. I want my editor to love this book as much as she loved Extreme Love. Unfortunately, what is happening is I'm on lockdown. I write a few words, scowl at the screen, and delete.Write, scowl, delete. Over and over again. I'm making no headway toward the end. It royally sucks.
*Sigh* I needed to get that off my chest. Maybe expressing it will open the writing floodgates now. I have a third book to write after this and I hope, hope, it comes easier than this one did, though I know the research is going to be insane with it.
Thanks for letting me vent:)
Abby
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